“Dear Blessed Mother, lend me your heart. I look for it each day to pour my troubles into”.
“you being in love
will tell who softly asks in love,
am i separated from your body smile brain hands merely
to become the jumping puppets of a dream? oh i mean:
entirely having in my careful how
careful arms created this at length
inexcusable, this inexplicable pleasure-you go from several
persons: believe me that strangers arrive
when i have kissed you into a memory
slowly, oh seriously
-that since and if you disappear
ask “life, the question how do i drink dream smile
and how do i prefer this face to another and
why do i weep eat sleep-what does the whole intend”
they wonder. oh and they cry “to be, being, that i am alive
this absurd fraction in its lowest terms
with everything cancelled
-what does it all come down to? love? Love
if you like and i like,for the reason that i
hate people and lean out of this window is love,love
and the reason that i laugh and breathe is oh love and the reason
that i do not fall into this street is love.”
The third solution: the one of Churchill and Bukovsky Vladimir
It summarizes: in the presence of tyranny, oppression, misery, misfortune, plagues, banes, dangers not only that you don’t give up, but on the contrary you get of them a mad desire to live and fight.
In March 1939, Churchill tells Martha Bibescu: “There will be war. Dust and powder will remain out of the British Empire. Death waiting for us all. And I feel that I rejuvenate with twenty years. ”
The more all goes wrong , the more immense the hardships are, the more you are more hit, more under siege or under attacks, the more you cannot see anymore no glimpse of any probabilistic reliable and rational hope, the more gray, darkness and viscosity are increased, bloated and curled round more inextricably, the more the danger defies you more directly, the more eager you are of fight and you know an (increasing) sense of inexplicable and overwhelming euphoria.
You are bombarded from all sides by forces endlessly stronger than yours: you fight. They defeat you: you defy them. You are lost: you attack. (That is what Churchill said in 1940). Laugh, sharpen your teeth and your knife, you get younger. And the happiness tickels you, the unspoken happiness that you hit too, even endlesly less. Not only that you don’t lose hope, that you don’t declare yourself defeated and slain, but you also fully taste the joy of resistance, of refusal and you feel an overwhelming feeling, a demented glee.
This solution, of course, requires exceptional strength of character, a military conception of life, a formidable moral vigor of body, a will of stainless steel housing and an adamantine spiritual health. It probably involves also a sporting spirit: to love the battle itself – the fight – more than the success.
It’s also rewarding and absolute, because it is based on a paradox: as they hit you and make you more harm and you, produce you increasingly suffering from lack of fairness and corner you in places without escape, you rejoice even more. you strengthen yourself, you become younger!
With Churchill’s solution identifies himself also Vladimir Bukovsky . Bukovsky says that when he received the first call at the KGB he could not close an eye all night. Natural thing, the reader of his book of memories could say, could not be more natural, uncertainty, fear, excitement. but Bukovski continues: I could not sleep for excitement. I could not wait for the day to come to be in front of them, to tell them what I think of them and get into them like a tank. A more extraordinary words I don’t believe anyone has said , nor written in this world. And I imagine – I don’t pretend it is as I say, not at all, I just wonder , i cannot help but wonder – if not maybe in this universe, with all it’s clusters of galaxies comprising each thousand or millions of galaxies each with billion suns and at least several billion planets around these suns, if lest all areas, distances and areas measured in light years these, parsecs and zillion thousand miles, all this gathering of matter, planets, comets, satellites, pulsars, quasars, black holes, cosmic dust, meteors, what ever might still be, all ages, all aeons, all time and all space- time continuous , and all Newtonian or relativistic astrophysics may have emerged and exist only so that these words of Bukowski could be expressed.
– to be continued.
translation : memyselfandela, 2012