"Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.."- Antoine de Saint Exupéry



I have spent the last days in a lot of stress doing something that was very difficult to handle with but that was very important for a person I know, an ex-colleague of ours that was in a very degraded mental state and needed help to get back home in Poland. I have asked for the help of several people so that we can all help her, so it was a team work involving 9 people, but since I was the one that sheltered her I felt more responsible and at some points quite scared of what was going on because there were few moments when the situation almost got very badly out of control.
In this stress we’ve been through few people amazed me. Few of my colleagues came to spend a night here with us just to make sure we can supervise and keep safe a girl that wanted rather to die than to live.  Another colleague (that a month ago was telling me how he does not even have someone to be there in the hospital with him while being operated)  said: “I am at the other end of the phone when you need to call or need help.” Yes, I did need help and advice in the middle of the night when the girls showed me an empty blister of sleeping tablets that the girl threw away before going to sleep, thing that in our mind only meant that she could have tried to kill herself rather than get back home to her family. Thank God she did not take all those pills, but I don’t want anyone to experience what we felt that moment and the few hours later when we all have done our best and kept her awake and talking just to make sure she is fine.
Now that the whole thing ended well and she is safe with her family I keep remembering things. I stop and give a very good thought about life in general and my life as it is. I have asked for help so that I can myself be able to help. Some have been true friends and have got involved, while others have been extremely selfish and turned their back on a girl that has been working with them only weeks before. I have seen the true character of some and now I know from whom I will keep my distance and who deserves my friendship. Life is tough and life goes on, yes. I have always been there for all kind of people, of which some don’t have feelings for others and don’t care about anyone but themselves. And so I came to the conclusion that I will be more selective in being friendly from now on.
I have always thought that a true friend is the one you can call any time, even at 3 o’clock in the night if you are in deep trouble. Or someone that would stay up all night to be there with you when you go through hell. I knew the theory but now I have seen again the reality.
Ask yourself two questions my friends: who can you call at 3 o’clock in the night? And who is there to help you when you need support, when you are in trouble and pain?
Much love to you all.


4 responses

  1. There are very few that would answer the call and crawl out of their comfy bed. Or miss a days work to comfort a friend in need. I am very blessed to have 4 friends that would answer that call.

    March 24, 2013 at 18:03

    • Indeed, not many would answer that call in the middle of the night.
      I have only now seen your comment Becki, but I thank you very much for it. I think in life matters not what you have, but who you have.

      March 8, 2016 at 19:40

  2. Fredrik Kayser

    Ela, you’re a strong and beautiful soul in your seemingly limitless compassion for otthers. I’m glad you managed to pull your friend through all that. If everyone were fotunate enough to have more people like you around I think the world would look a lot brighter! One thing that always bothered me is that some people misunderstand asking for help as weakness, it is anything but. Sometimes, asking for help is the most difficult thing you can do.
    Keep doing the things you do, Ela! Shine bright and strong ^^

    March 24, 2013 at 21:04

    • Thank you so much for the kind words my brother. I wrote this post partly being upset because of few people I know…
      I do my best and you do your best in all you do as well.
      Yet life is tough sometimes, it’s not that easy to smile and shine…
      Thank you Fredrik. And Happy Easter my brother. 🙂

      March 31, 2013 at 19:19

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