"Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.."- Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Archive for April, 2013

Love

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Love, my love, how I miss your childish ways
How I miss the light in your eyes and the smile in the corner of your lips
All my blood drains from my veins when I’m here without you
All the colour in this world dies with me
You bear in your eyes all the blue of my sky,
All the sunshine I’ve lost, all the songs I can’t hear anymore.
You hold  somewhere all that was left of my heart.
Love, my love, how I miss you
I would give my life just to wake up again
In that night when I opened my eyes
And you were dreaming next to me.

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memyselfandela, 2013


Silence

 

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Dream

I’m sitting alone drinking solitude,
Breathing my pain, collecting my thoughts
Shreds and pieces and images falling in the back of my mind without an end
In this empty room, in this cold space
Over this body of mine left without a heart.

The girl in black dress holding your arm
She was alive and she was all passion, in the beat of her heart
In her arms around you, in the smile in her voice
In her tears you’ve never seen and her kiss over your sleep
In the eyes turned to see you one more time before you were gone.

This poem of sorrow for the moments we had
Sounds sad, maybe even mad
Like the fading light in the eyes of a lunatic lover
Like the pain in the broken wings of an angel
That has fallen in abysses of nothingness the moment your love was nowhere to find.

My dream man is gone, now the story goes on
So what can I do with my life without you?
Broken by things I could not understand, by lies I have felt, by words unsaid,
You left me in the crevasse between the heaven in your words and the hell of your killing silence.
And you never tought me how to breath without you.

“I’m sitting alone, drinking alcohol
Writing a song about you
I know it’s so sad, maybe even mad
But I know what you do behind my back

You say you’re in love, in love with me
But I know that you’re lying to me

You say you’re in love, in love with me
But I know that you’re lying to me…”


Thank You!

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Thank you.

Thank you to all the souls that have sent me their thoughts and support these days. I cannot tell you how much this means for me.

I cannot repay your kindness and goodness, may God return it to you when you most need it.

As for me, life goes on, with or without me.

Thank you.

Much love to you all,

Ela


The Unpredictable

ela

Here I sit after few days that have stirred profoundly my existence. Unpredictable things happened lately in my real life, outside the internet.  I am left with few memories of eyes that I love, of holding hands and having to let go, of coming back home in an absolute sorrow with a heart squeezed by claws of pain that I’ve never experienced before in my life. Life has shaken my heart and soul, my memories, making me tumble to the ground and simply absolutely cry.
These days I have written my “Goodbye” post, as I wanted to leave WP for good. I have writen it, but not knowing if I am ready to post it or not I have saved it in my drafts. For what I feel right now deep in my heart is too cloudy and painful.
As I returned to my blog yesterday I was surprised to discover that WP has for some reason un-followed the blogs I used to read. I have no idea if all, but suddenly my email that used to be bombarded in the past by hundreds of updates from you all has become as silent as a grave. In fact my email was as quiet as the grave in my soul.
No, I don’t believe in coincidences. Maybe my soul has been so very shaken that the fact that I left my blog for few days has had this unexpected effect.
All I know is that when you have no orientation, no light in front of the eyes, when the sky tumbles upon your head, when you lose what you love the most, you can only stop and try to breathe. Maybe in life some things are meant to be lost, some paths to remain secret, some doors are meant to remain locked. Like answers that you ask for , that you would die for, but even if your life depends on them they never come.

Closed doors, shut windows, locked paths. And sorrow in between.
May your hearts be happy and your soul full of light.
Until I catch my breath again,
Ela.


Silence

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Who could ever love you like I do?
Peeling off the layers of selfishness
With a pure burning heart
With a weeping soul
With the trust of a child
Opening for you the arms of the greatest love
To shelter you in the middle of the storm?
There’s no greater love than this
There will be no other shelter than my heart.
Nobody knows how I love you
Only my soul, and it’s silent.
Nobody will ever know how I love you
Only my heart, and it’s more silent than ever.

memyselfandela, 2013


Silence

moment

 


Sunrise

morning

Today like every day I keep my head up
Nobody knows of the fights that I fought,
Of the losses I live with, of the love I feel
Nobody but God understands the extent in which I’ve given myself in pieces.
I keep my head up and I know
That I’ve done my best
That I loved with all my heart
That I’ve been passionate and true
Never lukewarm, never shallow, never just half a measure.
Life is a perpetual change and I know
That if anything was meant to be part of my life
It will come to me, it will be part of me
And that things will fall into place.
I am peace and I’ve given peace
I am strength and I’ve given strength
I am passion and I’ve given passion
I am love and I’ve given so much love
From the moment I held a hand to the moment I embraced a heart
In innocent laughter or in absolute tears.
I am present in every moment
Burning like a candle at both ends
I stand for every word of love and care I have given
I erase every mistake I’ve ever made because I love so very much.
So today, like all days
The sun shines and rises above all
Above sorrow and hope,
Above pain, oblivion and broken heart,
Above smile and love.
May you all be blessed, may your heart be happy, may you be loved.
Ela.


Reflection

reflect

in this infinite universe
there will always be
a million roads, a million souls
countless eternities unsaid
endless floors of pain rising to heaven
but only one singular touch of grace
a single reflection of that moment
when our souls were one
when our tears mixed
when your heart was beating in mine
that immense energy flowing from me to you
my very heart and soul embracing you
with all that I could have ever given
when loving you was my finest hour
and you were the light of my eyes

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memyselfandela, 2013


Letting Go

The sun rises above this place

Unknown and painful and surreal

Place of lost memory and deep frozen heart

Of sad reality and dreams tumbled to the ground

Of mixed up feelings and pain that stabs deep inside

Yet in this hell I’ll imagine the pieces of my heart

Bloom.

————————

Memyselfandela, 2013

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Black & White Memories


Silence

in silence
my fingers stroll over the letters
my hands have the same perfume like
tobacco leaves and tears
nobody knows from how deep
these thoughts gush out
these are no words, these are sighs
of a burning soul.

memyselfandela, 2013


The Simple Thought

The simple thought that you exist
Makes my heart smile
Like a glimpse of summer sunrise
Spreading silent
Over my eyes.

In quiet I put the finger of my soul
In the place where your heart beats
Just to make sure you’re there.
Rise and live, awaken and spread your wings
You are my miracle.

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memyselfandela, 2013

 

 


It’s A New Day

Start your day thinking of positive things.

It’s the first day of the rest of your life.

Be grateful for the beauty and the angels watching over you.

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Sleep

watch

Before I lay myself to sleep
In places where noone keeps me
I check the time
To see if the seconds are still there.
It has been an eternity since your last kiss.

Sad hours linger
Not knowing if to come or go.
They would run to you
If only they could hear
The heavy sound of your footsteps.

In unparalleled moments
Time stretches  the solitude
Breaking me under its weight.
Your hand is no longer here
To turn my key.

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memyselfandela, 2013


See With Your Heart

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If people would only learn
To listen to their heart
To see deeper than skin
Never allowing physical eyes
To fool them
If they would know
The burning power
Of the inner eye
Life would unfold
In front of them:
No more misery
No more pain
Only beauty and light.

memyselfandela, 2013

 


Set fire to the rain

We set fire to the rain
In those nights and days
With burning eyes, so in love
Our hearts dancing
In each others arms
In empty attics,  on wet roofs
Between the drops sliding on the windows
Facing our happiness

love

memyselfandela, 2013


100% Sweetness

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Poets Of The Fall

Whenever I listen to these talented guys it feels like a balm on my soul and ears. In this world of speed and material not many are connected to their heart and feelings. I am, I have been and I will always be a hopeless romantic and so are the Poets Of The Fall, they capture in their music such an intensive feeling, so much life, love and poetry that I can only listen in silence and smile.
Enjoy.


Moments

As I start my day  after several days of intensive work I breath in the energy of the day, the sunshine outside, the beauty, the life.

I breath out the stress and the negative feelings. I let go of the past and evil to receive today and the good.

I am grateful for what I have received in life and for the love I am and I can give and I receive.

May you all be happy, loved and blessed.

Ela
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Black & White Love

 

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Thoughts

My thought today goes to all those great special people that we meet in life and offer us unconditionally one of the most precious gifts in this life: Empathy. Some of these people are very good friends or healers we meet on the path of our life. And if you take a moment and think, all of you have met at least one.

One of the causes for any disease is fear. Its cure is empathy. What if there were no real source of fear, although the feeling of fear is real enough? Your mind and emotions create the feeling of fear through imagining, for example, the worst possible outcome. You may be drawn to news items which focus on negative scenarios. News agencies make their profit through our attraction to drama and “awful-ization.” It is your thoughts about a situation that produce feelings of fear.One can be more shaken by their own thoughts than by the event itself.

The Law of Empathy is the fifth spiritual law. The first is Acceptance, followed by Cooperation, then Understanding and Enthusiasm. Spiritually, we are not punished for our sins or shortcomings. We are punished by them. That is to say, it is when we go off track, or are separated, from our loving nature that we tend to experience imbalance and disease.

More often than not, we simply do not know what good might be right around the corner of any crisis. There are many who are viewing the current global disturbances as creative opportunities to effect solutions to the issues we are facing. This could well turn out to be the most creative and productive era of all human existence. No one person, or even inspired leader, is in direct control of what the future holds. Lack of control for many is scary.

I have noticed those who make gloomy pronouncements about the future want to seem right about their predictions, and in control somehow. It is tempting to buy into the awful-ization. Personal concerns such as: “What if I fail?” ” What if I lose all my friends?” ” What if I never find another job?” ” What if my husband/wife rejects me? ” Those feelings of fear can hold you back from engaging in life, and deriving fulfillment from getting on with what is right in front of you.

So where does empathy come in? Empathy is a form of understanding. Fear cannot abide in an environment where there is understanding. Understanding is being aware of the thoughts that have produced the feelings, and literally standing under or in support of the greater, loving spirit that is present. Empathy and compassion offer you the opportunity to be with those feelings as they are, without any criticism, shame or blame. Empathy respects your inner strength or innate essence, to know and do what is true for you.

The action may be as simple as holding a hand, listening, smiling, being at one with what is taking place without having to fix it. It takes a certain strength and love to do so. You are not in control. You are cooperating with the love present, in yourself and the other person. This love heals on many levels. You may look beyond what you see on the face of things to recognize something deeper going on, more real, more connected, more intimate, more safe. This vibrant safety I view as the human spirit.

In stressful times, you can extend empathy towards yourself with care, understanding and getting to know how your thoughts are disturbing you. Instead of being critical and condemning towards yourself with blame and judgments about how you think you should be, do or feel differently, you can accept yourself as you are, in that moment. The feelings will change.

Where fear isolates, empathy connects. When you have understanding, you can then use the energy of fear to get active, to do what needs to be completed, to see friends, write a letter, make a phone call, do something for the joy of it.  Instead of fear holding you back, you may find that fear translates into awe and inspiration. The essence of fear is love, awaiting awakening.

My deep love and appreciation to the fantastic empath souls I’ve met on WP. You know who you are, awesome people. 🙂

Much love and blessings to you all

Ela


The Night

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The night with its swarm of heavy thoughts haunts me
How many eons we’ve been passing by eachother
Blind to the reality that we are here , that we are one?
How many lives and how many miles we had to live and walk
Again and again just to find the truth?

The night has witnessed the loss of my soul
But my fallen heart, it was only you there to claim it.
This broken heart, shattered, black of the dust of the past
Maybe once so very beautiful and perfect,
Now broken watch  forgotten, yet yearning to live again.

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memyselfandela, 2013


Black & White

Only Love makes the impossible possible.

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