Here I sit after few days that have stirred profoundly my existence. Unpredictable things happened lately in my real life, outside the internet. I am left with few memories of eyes that I love, of holding hands and having to let go, of coming back home in an absolute sorrow with a heart squeezed by claws of pain that I’ve never experienced before in my life. Life has shaken my heart and soul, my memories, making me tumble to the ground and simply absolutely cry.
These days I have written my “Goodbye” post, as I wanted to leave WP for good. I have writen it, but not knowing if I am ready to post it or not I have saved it in my drafts. For what I feel right now deep in my heart is too cloudy and painful.
As I returned to my blog yesterday I was surprised to discover that WP has for some reason un-followed the blogs I used to read. I have no idea if all, but suddenly my email that used to be bombarded in the past by hundreds of updates from you all has become as silent as a grave. In fact my email was as quiet as the grave in my soul.
No, I don’t believe in coincidences. Maybe my soul has been so very shaken that the fact that I left my blog for few days has had this unexpected effect.
All I know is that when you have no orientation, no light in front of the eyes, when the sky tumbles upon your head, when you lose what you love the most, you can only stop and try to breathe. Maybe in life some things are meant to be lost, some paths to remain secret, some doors are meant to remain locked. Like answers that you ask for , that you would die for, but even if your life depends on them they never come.
Closed doors, shut windows, locked paths. And sorrow in between.
May your hearts be happy and your soul full of light.
Until I catch my breath again,