"Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.."- Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Digital Art

Bloom – 2 Years of Blogging

My dear friends, I am blogging already for 2 years now.

What an intensive experience it was, what a great experience I see ahead.

I thank each and every one of you for stopping by in my humble universe.

Love and Light to you all,

Adela

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Bloom

bloom-combo artwork

close your yes
so that we don’t lose any atom of us
l hide you in me
leave out all the rest
keep on pulsating my love
inside of our heart
we bloom

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33 words, memyselfandela, 2012

 


Silence

Silence is golden.

silencedigitalworkmemyselfandela, February 2014

 


Life

Stop and look around

You are alive, be grateful

You are beautiful, be aware

You are LIFE itself.

Lifedigitalart18 words, memyselfandela, february 2014

 


Fly

Anger? Hate? What would be the perfect word to carve into my arm? What do I allocate this tender, fleshy space between my elbow and my wrist to? Ah, no, don’t tell me. I should tattoo that I have been looking for you a lifetime and that I will never give up on the hope to finally find you. I have looked for you a lifetime? No, this is no place for lamentations… Love? Peace and Light? No, I should tattoo that I love you, that I love your feet and your heart. Your big feet. And that I live for those moments when all I want to hear is my little breath next to the amazing sound of your thumping heartbeat.

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Memories of a madman float in the void space around, yet the heart knows no fear. Tomorrow? Tomorrow is now. I am tired to wait for an indefinite time when maybe something will happen. No, I feel and I love and I care and I suffer and I breathe and I hope and I dream. I can touch tomorrow with the tips of my fingers and embrace it as it comes, in the making. I am no longer waiting for a life, here I am, I AM the LIFE!

**

I had to sigh a million times till I could finally start to breathe… Breathe with my heart and soul, with my being, not only with my feeble lungs… LIVE , not only biologically pathetically exist… Embrace my fiery real feelings, not only humbly get crushed underneath their intensity… And what I found out in the end is that in a lifetime we may break and fall a million times,again and again, but baby, one day, after all this crush and falling, we can finally rise and fly.

***flydigitalart 300 words, memyselfandela 2013-2014


I Am

In the white silence

In the trembling kiss on the corner of your lips

In the smiling look in your eyes

In the sound of speaking your name

There I am,

My Love.

kissdigitalart

33 words, memyselfandela February 2014


Last Night I Loved You

Last night I loved you, Love.
My heart still beating, we were still alive.

No oblivion had yet stained the look in your eyes
And your heart was the spark igniting the blaze in my hollow heart.

I knew tomorrow will mean nothing for you, yet last night I loved you, Love,
With all the passion that fueled my veins.

In the night I could not sleep as I could feel that our time is short
And I was scared not to lose any moment with you.

Last night I loved you, Love.
If you desert me don’t forget to kill my fire.

d4ccc829f567641d44786dfbeece6022100 words, memyselfandela, January 2014


Fire

I am the shadow inside and the one behind the moon
Trying to live with passion as I feel that life can end soon.
I am my lover’s lover and the fire within the fire
Looking for answers and paths that go beyond any desire.
I am the lunatic that spins thoughts in the sleepless night
Fallen and broken but always ready for my final flight.
dreamhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Dqtwwu6sgU

memyselfandela, November 2013


My Heart Aches For You

Carnations. Red bloody curly petals all over the cold hard floor. Pain filling up her aching soul, an acute sense of bloody uselessness, her life breaking to hopeless pieces, dead flowers covering the ground, remembering her of a love that used to mean everything but that has become nothing. She felt no longer his presence, no longer his loving words, no longer his loving touch, she felt abandoned like a piece of unwanted trash, rejected like a broken mechanism that could no longer tick with sounds of life once known. All left was only the disfigured shadow of the man she loves.

Pain. A way out she prayed to see again. No idea how tomorrow would look like. Not the vaguest strength to carry on with this tragedy. Him, laying sleeping drunk on the floor, holding still in his fists the rest of the carnations brought to tell her what he didn’t know how to verbalize anymore, him all surrounded by the rest of the bleeding shreds scattered allover by her in an attack of passionate rage ignited by seeing him coming again in a state that never stopped to humiliate her in front of family, neighbors, strangers.

She, in a corner, crying, endlessly cursing her own life and wishing she would have never been born or no longer been alive. He, in another corner, sleeping, seeing in his dream her beautiful face, radiant with the love she used to give him, as he caressed gently her cheek, feeling so bloody guilty but so in love with her while kissing her forehead, this awesome woman that could no longer see how much he bloody loves her, how much he is depressed because of not knowing how to turn back the time and start it all over again. With her. From scratch.

Red carnations copy300 words, memyselfandela, October 2013


Orange Dream

orange dream copy

In a dream love is a vivid wild flower
enveloped in a passion that can devour
with the delicacy of the bud of an orange
left outside hanging by a rusty old hinge
with the sweetness of a smart cookie
and the silliness of the worst rookie.

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memyselfandela, September 2013


Image

Yellow

yellow copy


You Look Like Rain

rain

It rains with words here
however they are not just words, they are feelings.

It used to pour with memories
yet they were just heartbeats left behind.

Though drops fall over my soul
I’ve always loved it, for rain reminds me that I’m alive.

memyselfandela, 2013

Digital art: memyselfandela, 2013

 


Only One

Only OneMany people feel isolated and unable to connect with others because of previous negative experiences, depression, shyness or simply because of not finding someone that shares the same interests. In an ocean of personalities we have all some similarities, but no matter how much we resemble, we are unique.
Taking the photograph of this beautiful foxglove reminded me of this uniqueness. Among hundreds of purple foxgloves, this was the only white one. People that are a bit out of the so called “norm” are often not understood or appreciated. Though in my opinion they are the most beautiful and amazing.

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100 words, memyselfandela – August 2013

Photo – memyselfandela


Textures

Birth of the Red Star copy Blue Eyes heart of roses


Prayer

prayer

I can hear You in every whisper of the wind
And every little grass sings Your name.
And every little flower rejoices in You
Like I can’t anymore.
I don’t need to put my finger in Your Holy rib to believe
For I simply know that You are here.
But I need You to put Your Holy finger in my heart
So I can live again.
Show me how to take a step after another
The way you teach a child how to walk
And in this humble existence,
On my lone path and from this pained soul,
Show me how I can find the shelter of Your peace
So I can return Your smile.

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memyselfandela, July 2013


The Letter (A Duet Post)

When you read someone like Troy you can’t help but be amazed by the ease and complexity in describing the most intense or painful moments. I have been mesmerized  by his cool view on life. So me, dreamer and poet , I could only try to imagine that someone like him would consider writing by my side. It started as a thought, then it became a dream, then a request and then it ended up like a post forged by two minds and souls.  I am honoured by his grip on reality added to my dreamer perspective.
Here’s the Duet, actually “The Letter”. And I invite you, after reading this post, to follow As Long As I’m Singing, the awesome blog belonging to an even more awesome Soul, Writer and Father: Troy.

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The Letter

Death sat at the edge of the bed, slack-jawed and stone-faced. Well, more stone-faced than usual; as the crumpled piece of paper formed an  impenetrable barrier between It and Its intended cache for this night.
Why had It done it? Why had It read that infernal letter in the first? An effortless matter, this should have been. Just one more soul, ready to be extracted. One more life, simply at its wick’s end.
And yet, this time was different. This time, as Death glowered over this weak and puny, yet oddly contented man, a strange new feeling came. A crawling, warming sensation previously unknown to It. Looking at this creature – this sheet-white man-ape of no previous regard – It felt something akin to what It imagined affection might be described as.
Utterly ridiculous!
Shivering, It dismissed the thought altogether and slowly rose from the bed, in order to do what It should have done in the first. But right before
doing so, It once again did what It shouldn’t have done in the first, and glanced at the letter once more.
That damned letter. With its presence, Death knew that this man-ape with the childish grin, would live on. Well, at least until it was her time to be taken too. Sighing resignedly, It stalked forth from the room, forever more trying to forget the words that It had read:

theletter copy

“My Love,

You have waited for me an eternity
Trying to see me in a million faces
Yet you never could, for it was not the time for us.
Tonight sleep peacefully knowing that the nightmare is over
And that I am on my way to you.
Tomorrow, when you will open your eyes
You will see my eyes mirroring you.
No pain, no chain, not even Death
Will stop me this time.
I thought I saw you millions of times
In millions of lives, my Love.
But every time I lost the illusion
Like a smoke scattered above the frozen waters of my broken heart.
For you were nowhere else but here all the time, waiting for me.
Tomorrow, when you will open your eyes
We will finally start to live.
Let the past die and rise from this tomb of agony
For Tomorrow is here
And I am coming.”

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Ela&Troy, 2013


The Light

The Light

Walking through the valley of changes
I slay my demons, thinking what I have become
One by one they fall by my side , one by one I leave them behind.

I question my steps as I mirror my face in the deep fountain of the past.
Oh how often I drank from these tears…
I must carry on without them till I can drink the morning dew.

I get away, run away, fly away from the darkness within
Nobody there to know how to take my armour off these bleeding wounds
Without making me scream. No wine or oil to pour on my sorrows.

Be still my soul, sigh and listen
You can hear the distant voice of angels
Promissing you the light to guide you back Home.

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memyselfandela, 2013


Past

Past

 

Expell this endless frown
in a lifelong deportation
drop this demon fate
life is too loud
calling, calling
your burning lips
raw of all the kisses burried
in cold tombs of indifference
if there must be a dark chapter
write the death sentence for your past
in all the black venom letters you can gather
so that your next chapter can shine.

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memyselfandela, 2013


Time

time copy

Past. Present. Future.
Let it flow, bloom and shine
Neverending river
Over the heart of time.

Yesterday. Now. Tomorrow
Feel the weight of each day
Let no more waves of sorrow
Fall on your way.

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memyselfandela, 2013


Epiphany

epiphany3

As a new day rises over me I find myself breathing and living and smiling. The level of physical pain I feel is not relevant, the number of tears I have cried also not. My heart is full of Love and Peace. And I am grateful for every single thing that I have experienced in my life, because I finally understand that every single thing was a lesson.
Yes, life goes on. Yes, I have let go. Yes, I have set myself free from all the things and people that have harmed me and have lowered the vibration of my soul by making me suffer. For all those people I have closed the doors left ajar. I have canceled all my dreams related to them. I have forgiven them. And I have let them go on their own paths. No more regrets, no more questions, no turning back, no more torture of my soul. I could not have done this without shutting the doors of my past sad experiences. Without ending the past and making room for a new day. Without drying my tears so that I can smile again.
I have been very busy these past days. Busy working and busy with my feelings and thoughts. Busy listening to my Heart.  I did not post much but I have learned incredibly much. I did not write for you my friends, but I did write in the book of my Heart and I did turn the page.
As I was in the depths of sorrow and pain some time ago I was wondering why all this pain happened to me. But these days and the light that has filled my soul have showed me that everything is a flowing process. That there’s no state of permanent pain and no condamnation to sorrow. That rather God closes for us some paths and doors just to open for us the right ones. That we don’t lose anything and anyone in life, but we find ourselves and what is good for us.
I am a deeply religious soul, whoever reads my blog knows this. I have my sins and mistakes but I also have a heart full of love. And I accept humbly all the beauty and Love that God has given me. I always say that God is more present in our lives than we even imagine.  And He proved this to me so many times…

If there’s a word for this feeling, it is epiphany, it is the revelation of my complete heart and soul: I am Love.

Much love to you all.

Ela


Image

Ask

Ask copy


Silence

Silence

 


Image

Twin Supernovas

Twin Supernovas


The Kiss

The Kiss2 copy

 


Looking Through My Soul’s Lense

Spring

Long time ago I was striving with painting. I have never invested enough time and money in learning how to paint. I had less and less time. Life has taken its toll.

Yet I will always have the eye of an artist, I love beauty in all kinds of forms and I guess I could try to use my humble knowledge to create images that match what I write.

So, starting from tonight, from time to time, next to my poems and translations you will also see digital art. I hope you will enjoy it my dear friends.

Love and blessings to you all.

Ela.