Poetry

Loner

I breathe with you
lonely beautiful
you, who don’t even know
how beautiful you are
far beyond the eye
deep under the surface
there where I kiss your soul
you are the beauty
and the universe expands
bursting underneath your temple.
You, who look for answers,
you are the answer.

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50 words, memyselfandela, September 2013

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Love

what weighs the most
in the gravity of feelings:
to love or to be loved?

missing one or another
feels just as painful as
a bird trying to fly with only one wing.

33 words, memyselfandela, September 2013

Lunatic

The absolute solitude embraces the caryatids but has not forgotten the smile in your eyes.
I spend my days with my rebel freedom, with the stone kings and the frozen time.
Life continues to pulsate in the depths of my heartless veins.
On the same stairs where you were holding my hand
The rain has replaced the sound of your footsteps beside me.
Your wish for happiness has not yet extinguished my soul.
I write like a lunatic on the corner of every table I happen to find,
In the silent places where I have once been with you.
Lunatic. Yes, I am lunatic. The absolute lunatic still loving only you.

111 words, memyselfandela, February 2014

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ONE

Our lives
Intersected arteries
Entwined on spiritual levels.

Our aetheric bodies
Flow unseen
To eyesight.

We are souls inhabiting here
Physical bodies for a glimpse.

Beyond all this experience
We are all
ONE.

33 words, memyselfandela, February 2014

Dreamweaver

my love lost in another world, the desert sends you endless waves of sand
in the cold night when you sail from shore to shore asking
mermaids and bards and lonely women and shamans and the fata morgana
for the absolute beauty and the golden wool

seeds of whispers get born on my silent lips as I try to get you out of the corners
of this universe, me undressed of day dreaming, you covered in dreams
that cannot get real because you don’t set them free while you linger too long
in the chaotic nightmare hammered in screaming ancient walls

the springs of my soul search for the sky in your never seen eyes
so that the day when you’ll find your way back to me
you won’t step on the blaze of our burning hearts
while you’ll break my life in two with a kiss

memyselfandela, 2013

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Cherubic

Even if this life of mine would be doomed

And I would be condemned to grow devil’s claws

I would still fight to use them to scratch

Cherubic poems on my prison walls.

33 words, memyselfandela, February 2014

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Not the Saddest Poem

Tonight I could write the saddest poem of all, yet I choose not to.
Lights draw constellations for muses and the skies have stars in their eyes.

I loved him and often he loved me too.
Just as love is eternal, he once belonged to my ardent kisses.

On nights like this he held me in his arms.
He kissed me so many times under infinite blues.

Tonight I write this poem left glowing in the dark:
Not one of pain, but the one of a love full of passion.

90 words, memyselfandela, 2014

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Last Rose

Behind the fences of my soul
Where foxes did not need to hunt
And hares lived in bliss
I had grown you my garden of roses.

The wolf and the lamb in my heart
Were living always together,
No affliction or fear had come upon them
In the quiet shelter of this world.

You have come and then left like a thief
Greedily taking my defenses, merciless crushing my peace.
Now that I’m broken and cold like a dying stone,
Away from all sanctuary, my heart blooms your last rose.

90 words, memyselfandela, 2014

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Black & White

I’m tired of pretending
That my soul didn’t pulverise over you
When you betrayed me.

I’m done with dreaming of deliverance
After you’ve been one side and the other
Of my love universe.

Keep my stolen trust
And the dying smile in the corner of my eyes,
I’ve been only one in your big jar of hearts.

Dazzling pain struck me
I should have never loved you, stranger,
You who’ve never been and will never be true.

Withering days will pass, light will pierce this night
In another life where it will be
Your turn to wander in the dark.

100 words, memyselfandela, January 2014

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Volcanos

Love never died with our bodies, lover
In our lost moment
We are still the same dreamers touching the sky.

When I sink in you
I can touch deep your spirit
Far away from this island where you left me marooned.

Mud volcanos burst and
as their earthly colours transfigure
heavenly beauty rises from the pain.

Roots of passion feed the memory
Of the love blooming in your eyes
Like the only roses ever born.

75 words, memyselfandela January 2014

Be

Where I sit,
my windows burst with agony
only traces left of the sunshine.
Screams of pain,
from the bleeding heart within
smoke raising
from my dying fire,
life in a crude acknowledgement
and in the oblivion of my aching mind.
but all is left is this day,
within.

What is dull for others
is a deep dive in the consciousness for me,
my long-lost confession from deserted lives,
memories filling the deep blue sea
as a storm,
scratching lines on my face
and crevasses in my soul,
harbours of quiet
where sometimes only a lost echo
still lingers.
It is through this singular beauty,
the spark inside the chaos,
that I now witness
the only path that represents
sheer living.

I am consciousness.

Hanged like a shroud
eternity awaits
the sight of a life lived
with passion,
an escape from this colourless dimension
through the fire that burns deep inside every breath.
Madness it is, yet it is life
above just a carcass, into the soul
reborn –
pure existence
erasing all negative just to give life to life itself.

When I will finally open my windows
my silence will flood the outer universes
and my ardent heart
will cast far away the song of this ephemeral moment
so that my reflected souls outside
will know that we only had this day
to be.

222 words, Memyselfandela, January 2014

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Wash

God, have mercy, let it rain today,
My heart is so black, like my mind in ways.
Oh , there was a time when I could feel his taste.
His smiling eyes before me, tears down my face.

Sin for sale. Lover, will it feed your need?
Tell me, why you planted all these devil’s seeds?
What is now the truth? Can we get it back?
It’s was on the inside but you lost it’s track.

What was clean and pure is now left outside
On these paths of living we walk without guide.
What you knew and hid kills our frail tomorrow.
Bring your love back, lover, I may die of sorrow.

Bring life back, reborn, wash my love with tears
Be not scared to feel, love above all fears.

memyselfandela, January 2014

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A Cat Story

In a far away land lost in depths of time
Owning handwritten books was a golden mine.
In a far away castle on a God forgotten shore
Ruled a very cruel master who wanted ever more.
So he forced all his scribes to work hard day and night
Never caring if poor people might have even died
Asking them to decipher and to write from pain
With the ink and the feather and the blood in their vein.
Any minor mistake was so dreadfully punished
That in short term of time most his scribes simply vanished,
And when having all books he still asked for a last
Threatening all with cruel tortures from past.
As his time to die suddenly next day came
He just then understood that it was all in vein
With his last breath holding his most precious book
An incredible guest by surprise him just took
For no matter how strong he has been, he saw that
The last word was not his, but belonged to the cat.

memyselfandela, January 2014

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Sleep

As I lay down in the darkest night stars circle over me.
Purple-green waves crush on the air shores
And the frost bites deep in the stone of my core
Petrified, inert, forgotten, wearing deep inside
The runes left behind by your loving touch.

Heavy mists fill up the dancing sky,
Lead shroud of silence
Engulfing my breath, closing my eye,
Covering in a distance the last blink
Of the newly born stars bursting in the heartbeat of Orion.

No caress left to touch me, gone is your summer,
The dragonfly of your soul has long forgotten me.
Visions of light sparkle weary in my mind
As I fade in the endless dream
Of your warm finger drawing circles on my frozen heart.

123 words, Memyselfandela, January 2014

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Last Night I Loved You

Last night I loved you, Love.
My heart still beating, we were still alive.

No oblivion had yet stained the look in your eyes
And your heart was the spark igniting the blaze in my hollow heart.

I knew tomorrow will mean nothing for you, yet last night I loved you, Love,
With all the passion that fueled my veins.

In the night I could not sleep as I could feel that our time is short
And I was scared not to lose any moment with you.

Last night I loved you, Love.
If you desert me don’t forget to kill my fire.

100 words, memyselfandela, January 2014

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Lady of Shalott

truly cursed this dying heart of mine
for God denied me in too many lives
to hold you in my arms and be with you.

truly sad every morning I wake
just for a glimpse of your shadow fading
towards other lives you’ve been sentenced to.

I am half sick of shadows and cannot see the sky
in this sad world where i must live without you
my heart endlessly bleeding for us being apart.

truly blessed be the unspoken day when we will meet
in another life, your hollow soul, my black heart
we’ll be rightfully whole again.

100 words, memyselfandela, 2012

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The Light

Walking through the valley of changes
I slay my demons, thinking what I have become
One by one they fall by my side , one by one I leave them behind.

I question my steps as I mirror my face in the deep fountain of the past.
Oh how often I drank from these tears…
I must carry on without them till I can drink the morning dew.

I get away, run away, fly away from the darkness within
Nobody there to know how to take my armour off these bleeding wounds
Without making me scream. No wine or oil to pour on my sorrows.

Be still my soul, sigh and listen
You can hear the distant voice of angels
Promissing you the light to guide you back Home.

memyselfandela, 2013

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Silence

heavy white snows of silence fall like a blessing
covering us when you hold me,
my heart, pressed flower that will never decay
between your secret pages.

dreams flow across my burning sky of night
and all the nightmares fade when you look my way.
rebelling fears fall aside silent, broken, cursed to die
in forgotten corners where anguish dwells.

on heavenly strings my soul plays the unheard ode
of all my universe getting born again and again,
blooming as I close my eyes and melt in the sweetest sleep,
safe in your arms, hidden in soul, home at last.

100 words, memyselfandela, December 2013

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Rose

the night crystallizes truths
despite of all the imperfections
in the crevasses of my broken soul
left at the end of the day with
raw images of degradation and fragments
from fights of silent dragons and demons,
of humans rifted in the damnation to feel only nothingness
because they have nothing holy in their soul,
though they deserve angel shapes.

truly pure love is the one
that gives itself whole, without judgement,
with no hope of reward
with complete oblivion of all fruits and all joy,
of all gratification, of all praise and ego.
the one that does not build temples for
his self satisfaction, his wisdom or nobleness.
this love is the condescendent eye
on all creature, the rose that blooms in the winter frost.

there’s no way above this nightmare
that is at the same time lesson and life
but to give love to all, without any expectation.
no angels walk on this ground,
they must leave us so we can make our own choices.
there’s no oneness but the one
we freely give to stranger and foe.
there’s no wholeness but love,
and if you don’t have it, give it
and if you can’t imagine it, create it.

200 words, memyselfandela, 2013

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Peace

tonight and always

it snows outside and over my soul

heavy silences are falling

shades of black and white in every corner

in the end it will be peace.

memyselfandela, 2012

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Sadness

Sadness,
silent language that articulates
this huge void screaming in us
for the loved ones we miss

it’s a hole in our heart
that can only be filled
with their genuine
impossible to counterfeit love

memyselfandela, 2012

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Free

heartbeat of an agony
living out of the same inexhaustible sunsets of being
untamed pulse of torn days and nights
of languages submerged in deep strings
me and I in my own arms, under my own wings
I shine the smile of freedom

memyselfandela, 2012

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Night

I have lost my way often lingering on cursed unknown streets
Hoping to find the invisible path that leads to you.

I am grateful for the gift of being alive
For the roses I bewilderingly find blooming under your blue sky.

When night comes, when my eyes cannot close
They can sometimes seize the star that lights up your dreams.

As it twinkles high above you, almost fading,
The distance to you means nothing anymore.

One day when my soul will look for a place to hide and to rest
It will find the shadow concealed between your loving arms.

100 words, memyselfandela, November 2013

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Corner of the Loner

Don’t be scared of life, of the cold anonymous world.
Cut the wires that feed your fears.

Live today as if it would be the last day left on the face of Earth
Even if everything may crumble around you.

Don’t listen to your clutched fists
Don’t hear the bad words flying around you.

Don’t hide from your dark side.
You have yourself and your gentle thought rising above your eyebrows.

Join your heart for a ride deep inside yourself,
Turn your arms towards who you really are and embrace your soul.

When you will be your own friend
You will never feel empty again in your silent corner of the loner.

111 words, Memyselfandela, November 2013

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Dawn

You asked me: “Lover, tell me, how do you love me?”
“Like life itself, like the dawn rising from the darkness” I said.

You nodded: “Lover, what hope do we have?”
“None, lover, but I will still find some hope just for us” I said.

You smiled at me: “Lover, what makes your life worth living?”
“You and the love in your eyes, lover” I said.

Then you turned and disappeared in the midst of my deepest dream.
And a distant spark of hope ignited my rising dawn.

88 words, memyselfandela, November 2013

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Fire

I am the shadow inside and the one behind the moon
Trying to live with passion as I feel that life can end soon.
I am my lover’s lover and the fire within the fire
Looking for answers and paths that go beyond any desire.
I am the lunatic that spins thoughts in the sleepless night
Fallen and broken but always ready for my final flight.

memyselfandela, November 2013

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Walking In The Air

Come dance on countless whispers, in the pure atmosphere
High above, beyond all worries.
The same lonesome trumpet illuminates my night
Come float with me beyond all words.

I won’t forget you, weary soul
In this dimension where we found each other.
If I would turn the distance in a golden thread
It would lead me far away to the moon.

Our clay existence, the cage of our bodies are nothing
In this realm where our deepest thoughts ignite.
Sleepless nights sublimated in the dark shadow under your loving eyes
Will never ever keep you from floating in the air.

100 words, memyselfandela, November 2013

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Words

Don’t think our words have died.
Words don’t have a reduced life span,
Not even in a dead language
words cannot simply disappear.

Don’t say words mean nothing.
They were born from lives and pains of generations
And the essence hidden in them
Tells stories of long journeys and bloody battles.

Don’t imagine there’s no record
Of all that has been said.
It’s not in the paper and ink
That words live on.

Don’t believe our words have vanished.
All words ever spoken, all wishes and vows
Even those betrayed by us mortals
Will still live trapped forever in eternity.

100 words, memyselfandela, November 2013

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Path

You come and go
Swinging between what your heart craves for
and what you don’t even dare.

You talk and say nothing
drifting away between what you need
and what you fear you may not give.

You know and you don’t know
Hesitating between who you are
and who you want to be.

Kill the routine, breath the passion of this life
Stop looking for a path, there’s none
Except for the one only you can carve.

memyselfandela, November 2013

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Sibiu. My City. My Love

I watched you sleep
Like only one that passionately loves you ever could.
I was there awake watching over you
When nobody was around
And no sounds were disturbing your deep sleep.
I was there when you opened your smiling eyes
And when hungry pigeons came to feed at your feet.
Sibiu. My city. My stone. My root. My love.
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Te-am privit dormind
Cum doar cineva care te iubeste cu pasiune o poate face.
Am fost acolo vegiind asupra ta
Can nu era nimeni in preajma
Si sunete nu deranjau somnul tau adanc.
Am fost acolo cand ti-ai deschis ochii zambitori
Si cand porumbei infometati au venit sa manance la picioarele tale.
Sibiu. Orasul meu. Piatra mea. Radacina mea. Dragostea mea.

120 words, memyselfandela, November 2013

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Labyrinth

Love is the most intricate labyrinth
Come look for me if you dare.

You must first kill your fears, the most wounding beasts.
Drown them in the oblivion sea rather sooner than later.

I have no crumbs to scatter for you, there’s only your inner light
And the strength of you passion to guide you.

You may get lost a hundred times, but your strength will grow
Each time you will get closer to my beating heart.

By the time the sun raises revealing truths you could not even imagine
Your spirit will grow wings and you will find me.

100 words, memyselfandela, October 2013

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Creeps

Any apple used to remind
Of the original sin,
Of her mythical alluring death perfumed beauty.

Wisdom blinded men used to see
The creeps of destruction
In the eyes of any innocent woman.

33 words, memyselfandela, October 2013

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In Bloom

When are you coming,
You weary soul and hungry breath?
I hide your beautiful memory framed
Sleeping deep in the fire of my heart.

My breath rests easy on your chest
As the night blooming in your loving eyes
Comes out of depths of your soul
That you have even forgotten.

What does your heart hide for me,
You dawn ethereal love?
No more tears, no cage of stone
To hide my crumbling being.

The delicate touch of your smile
As you kiss my moonlight shining lips
Awaits for the sun to melt us
In a passionate bud eager to explode.

100 words, memyselfandela, October 2013

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Now / Maintenant

I have you now
warm
your breath
flowing slowly
in a song
in the dark lip
under the cry
of the wild
gypsy skirt

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Je t’ai maintenant
chaud
ton souffle
coulent lentement
dans une chanson
dans la lèvre noire
sous le cri
de la sauvage
jupe gitane