You’d think decades are long enough to forget or heal, but time is ruthless, both in a second and in eternity.
There’s been a lot of pain but I have finally understood that there’ll never be more hurt than love.
Time hardly moved then, but flows rapidly now, the last grains of sand in the hourglass rushing to catch their own tail.
Past and present reunited in our hearts, your laughter still lingering in my ear like a harmony between the two.
Now I see, there are no more stars, but cracks in Heaven, letting your love shine on me.
———————————————————-Dedicated to my Father, Ioan Galasiu, who went to Heaven 32 years ago ❤️❤️❤️
100 words, Memyselfandela- Adela Clancy-Galasiu, 22 December 2021
There are signs of life from the other side of the rainbow – your soul shining across to me.
I’m no longer sad for your departure, I have learned you have never left.
You bloom in every rose, you smile in every sunshine, we breathe the same air.
I celebrate your life and love as I celebrate all others and the entire eternity.
63 words, poem and photos/ and roses grown by -Adela Galasiu / memyselfandela June 2018
Dedicated to my father Ioan, for his birthday, 24.06.1949. Happy birthday dad, the roses bloom for you!
Wearing your heart on your sleeve is considered by many a sign of stupidity.
I personally believe it’s a sign of honesty, courage and real strength.
People’s attitude reflects their own inner value.
33 words, memyselfandela, 2015
Photo: Heart, Adela Galasiu, 2015
The soul levitates above the ground
longing dreamy to
move its roots into heaven.
The matter’s consistency
stridently burdens the light
reflected by the heart.
Some say we cannot stop the moment
yet I still believe that we can
trap it within the soul’s walls.
Sufletul leviteaza deasupra pamantului
tanjind visator sa
isi mute radacinile in cer.
ingreuneaza in mod strident lumina
reflectata de inima.
Unii spun ca nu avem posibilitatea sa oprim clipa
si totusi eu inca mai cred ca o putem
tine prinsa intre peretii sufletului.
45 words / 45 de cuvinte, memyselfandela – Adela Galasiu, August, 2015
Photos: Adela Galasiu, Wild Strawberries/ Fragi
Breathe this clear air
Put your foot down into reality
Feel life running within your heart.
There is no future
And the past means almost nothing
All you have is this magic moment.
30 words, Memyselfandela, July 2015
Photo: Instagram http://ift.tt/1JtHHqw
The Heart is
Nothing but a bunch
Inima nu e altceva
Decat un buchet
Le coeur n’est rien
Das Herz ist
Nichts als ein Strauß
9 words, English, Romanian, French, German – Memyselfandela/ Adela Galasiu, July 2015
Music: Dinu Lipatti playing Chopin Barcarolle for piano in F sharp major op 60 B 158, Youtube
After 2 months of waiting here is the episode where I had the honour of sharing my story too. My contribution is dedicated to my beloved father, Ioan Galasiu and to Gershwin’s beloved Rhapsody in Blue. Many thanks BBC Radio 4. Adela Galasiu, 2014
My dear friends, I am blogging already for 2 years now.
What an intensive experience it was, what a great experience I see ahead.
I thank each and every one of you for stopping by in my humble universe.
Love and Light to you all,
close your yes
so that we don’t lose any atom of us
l hide you in me
leave out all the rest
keep on pulsating my love
inside of our heart
33 words, memyselfandela, 2012
When I said I Love You I meant it
With heart and soul, honouring you
Being grateful for our time together.
When I said I Love You it was true
Without judgement, knowing your flaws
And adoring you for your uniqueness.
When I said I Love You I held you in my arms
But more in my soul and mind, wherever I was,
As only you were missing from me to be whole.
I Loved You and I never lied
Beyond all the pain love does not change or betray
Because I Loved You then and I’ll Love You forever.
If we only live for ourselves, what meaning does life have? Didn’t you notice that people who act selfish are never happy and never enjoy what they have in their life?
You have not lived today until you have done something for a little soul in need, for someone who can never repay you, for someone who may not even be able to speak to ask for help. True love is an unconditional thing. Acts of love cost nothing but mean the world.
God gave us all a heart because He knows we are capable of goodness and love.
Yesterday lovely Nicola Humphries, BBC producer and wonderful woman with a big heart, has given me the opportunity to tell a story.
It has all started with my beloved Rhapsody in Blue and Gershwin, but for me this represents the tip of my soul iceberg. I have dived very deep in my past to the times when I was a happy child. I have spoken about life in the Communism, oppression, the tragic death of my father which has coincided with the beginning of the Romanian Revolution on the 22 of December 1989. I have tried to describe life as it was, but time was short and words don’t come always easy. I have had moments when my mind has frozen and when I could not find my words as in the back of my eyes I have kept my tears, because I cannot get back in some moments in time without feeling again all that intense pain.
I am in love with music because it has always been for me a gate to freedom and a window of hope in the darkest moments. I have remembered the most intense moments that I have lived and witnessed, the blood on the streets of Sibiu, the fear when people were shot, the agony of not knowing what was happening with my father when he did not come back home, the death striking my family when we have least expected, the love and the absolute loss.
I may be different than other people given the intensity of situations that I have lived, things that could have made other people get insane. I have been through things that normally do not happen to other people. Those have been moments that have not destroyed me, but made me stronger. This is one of the reasons why I write and I have started my blog. I believe that despite all pain, beyond all loss, life is both a path and a fight. We can all create a better path and win our battle. I truly believe that none of us should give up, that we should all have peace of mind and hope in our heart for the day to come. I believe it because I have been myself on the edge of despair and I have looked into the abyss of depression many times in my life.
As I came out of the BBC I have entered the Church of All Souls. I believe nothing is accidental. I have been not given the chance to speak about me alone, but the chance to recall and mention my mother, my father, my love, my loss, my hope. Maybe it was a way of setting myself free and closing a deep pain of the past, a bleeding succession of losses that I have lived with for a long time.
500 words, memyselfandela, February 2014
Photos: Adela Galasiu, February 2014
Many thanks to wonderful Nicola Humphries and BBC 4, Soul Music.
Today I offer you a rhapsody from my heart. An effusively rapturous and extravagant discourse. My expression of enthusiasm and praise for a musical piece that I absolutely madly deeply adore.
Whoever has read my blog in the past knows that I am passionate about Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue. I have written about it in the past and I listen to it every once in a while when I am happy or when I recharge my inner batteries. Yesterday, as I read one very surprising comment on my blog, I have realised that I have never taken the time to put together all the reasons why I love this musical piece so very much.
The comment came from a BBC Radio 4 producer who is researching for a programme about Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue. I was first of all completely surprised that my post about Gershwin even showed up in an online search. But it was even more exciting for me when I had the joy to discuss on the phone with the producer and I was asked what feelings this particular piece of music awakens in my memory and heart.
If I want to explain what I feel about it I need to rewind my whole life. My memories of it start in childhood when I heard this piece on the radio and have simply fallen in love with it. Coming from a family that loved music, I have listened to both classics and modern music as I grew up. I have fed my spirit with opera played on old magnetic cassettes, with Chopin and Beethoven, with Ravel and Vivaldi, just like I have fed my soul later on in my life with the music of the 80’s and the rock music. When I was a child music was a great joy for us, as in the communism we did not have access to all the variety of entertainment that one can experience now. It was only natural that I fell in love with this piece that infuses Jazz, Impressionism and classical elements molten in a 20th Century romantic theme offered with brittle and quirky interruptions.
This appreciation for the Rhapsody in Blue has continued throughout all my life. Every time when I was defeated and low I have sat and listened to it. Unlike other people with linear lives I have been through many changes, I have witnessed a lot of pain, loss, death, suffering, but also love, joy, sacrifice and hope. Wherever things were worst in my family I was present. Throughout this all, whenever I have listened to this piece of music I have added another pearl of feeling to what has become now a very long string. To me it is now not only music, but a masterpiece and pure beauty. And because it has been with me through it all, happy moments, sad moments and great changes, it has become a part of me and a symbol of life itself.
When I say life I don’t mean only good things. Life has many layers, ups and downs, just like the human mind and heart. There are many shades and colours, numerous moments of darkness and light that create the clear image of our multidimensional reality, a rich kaleidoscope of feelings, moments, images and sounds that create a whole.
Many people don’t know that this piece of music was a commission and that it has been written in a train. This may sound uninteresting for some, what is a train you may say. Well, for me a train means volumes. My father has passed away in a train. I have loved travelling by train all my life. Even now the train is my favourite transportation to wherever I go. It brings memories, it revives moments in my past, it is also (for those who believe that dreams have a meaning) a symbol of change, passage and novelty in one’s life. Gershwin says himself: “It was on the train, with its steely rhythms, its rattle-ty bang, that is so often so stimulating to a composer – I frequently hear music in the very heart of the noise… “. He is right, it often happens to me too to hear the tune in the noise…
Rhapsody in Blue was a challenge because it was created in a very short period of time, against the clock, by a young and ambitious Gershwin that didn’t want someone else to steal his idea. This speaks volumes for me again. Under a similar pressure I have left Romania and started a new life in a moment when I felt I must do and I can do more with my life. I was young, ambitious and a bit unaware of what life may bring. But I didn’t care, I had only one thing in my mind- I wanted to make it. I think it is out of such moments of determination that meaningful things get born.
Did you know that the original title was “American Rhapsody”? In the end the title of this piece was inspired by two famous paintings of James Whistler of which one, “Nocturne In Blue And Green of the Thames at Chelsea”, has been rejected and misunderstood in the beginning because it was too modern for the moment when it was offered to the public. There are people who, despite of being rejected for their ideas or passion, carry on and believe in their dream until one day that dream proves to be an extraordinary thing. They may not see all the staircase, but they go up step by step, they simply have faith. It is not easy to believe in your own value when maybe nobody else does, yet being consistent in your efforts brings great results in the end.
Gershwin was not conservatory trained, an awareness of which he carried with him to his grave, and something his arch critics would never allow future students of the piano to forget. Yet, no conservatory teaches talent, so nothing can stand in front of Gershwin’s unique style and genius. Pianists have consistently interpreted Gershwin somewhere between the classicism of Chopin and the 20th Century romanticism of Rachmaninoff, but when it comes to Gershwin’s strict rhythms, what is not heard is more important than what is, for it is the magic of the split-second spacing between the notes that brings Gershwin’s Rhapsody to life in a melodic thread woven itself into a masterpiece.
The Rhapsody, with its composer as soloist, was premiered in front of a packed house that included Rachmaninov, Kreisler, McCormack, Godowsky, Sousa, Heifetz and Stokowski. Even the ones that later did not like it when it was first presented to the public and said it would have been “structurally flawed” have categorised it as a “sentimental” piece. It is as melancholic as my Romanian soul and it is full of feeling and light. It is sad at some points. It is happy, rhythmic and improvised too. Through all these characteristics it is ALIVE. If you would listen to only a part of it, if you would take a bit out of it, if you would listen to it all it would be just as alive, and that is amazing. It is a series of stories put all together, a series of songs that match perfectly in a single, uninterrupted composition of continuous and extravagant enthusiasm.
I have listened to it through various moments in my life and I have understood it in different ways. It speaks to me of happy childhood years. The first clarinet trill reminds me of a new beginning, of a new day, of sunrise. I am an animation movie lover, so when I have seen it translated into image by Disney’s Fantasia 2000 I have added even more meaning to it, as I thought that the animation is a perfect illustration for the hope trapped inside this fabulous piece of music. And I will always remember how I danced on this piece with the man I love. In a moment in time, in a quiet evening, in a quiet flat, in a quiet neighbourhood in London he has taken my hand in his hand and we have danced on this wonderful rhapsody. Our souls were dancing too, we were happy, the heart was full, the world was in the right place and we were in the right feeling.
I love Rhapsody in Blue for many reasons, for the sweet sentimental parts, for the crescendos, for the vivid pace, for the epic dimension of it, for the jazz veins and the classical bursts. My interpretation of it is perfectly subjective, I see it through the lenses of my own soul, maybe different than other people. But for me it represents life itself seen through the eyes of an optimist. Unflawed and tightly woven, with its early 20th Century innocence and brilliant musical statements taken in and out of the performers and listeners souls, Rhapsody in Blue is for me a personal stairway to paradise.
Photos: “Blue”, Adela Galasiu 2013
1500 words, memyselfandela, January 2014
More about Gershwin : Gershwin plays Gershwin – Rhapsody in Blue – posted in April 2012
BBC Radio 4 – Soul Music – The stories behind pieces of music with a powerful emotional impact. http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/soulmusic
Come back Love, I have waited for you an eternity. I will wait till I’ll have no more reason to be…
Where I sit,
my windows burst with agony
only traces left of the sunshine.
Screams of pain,
from the bleeding heart within
from my dying fire,
life in a crude acknowledgement
and in the oblivion of my aching mind.
but all is left is this day,
What is dull for others
is a deep dive in the consciousness for me,
my long-lost confession from deserted lives,
memories filling the deep blue sea
as a storm,
scratching lines on my face
and crevasses in my soul,
harbours of quiet
where sometimes only a lost echo
It is through this singular beauty,
the spark inside the chaos,
that I now witness
the only path that represents
I am consciousness.
Hanged like a shroud
the sight of a life lived
an escape from this colourless dimension
through the fire that burns deep inside every breath.
Madness it is, yet it is life
above just a carcass, into the soul
erasing all negative just to give life to life itself.
When I will finally open my windows
my silence will flood the outer universes
and my ardent heart
will cast far away the song of this ephemeral moment
so that my reflected souls outside
will know that we only had this day
Thank you Andre, Vandana and Luna Amara.
222 words, Memyselfandela, January 2014
As I lay down in the darkest night stars circle over me.
Purple-green waves crush on the air shores
And the frost bites deep in the stone of my core
Petrified, inert, forgotten, wearing deep inside
The runes left behind by your loving touch.
No caress left to touch me, gone is your summer,
The dragonfly of your soul has long forgotten me.
Visions of light sparkle weary in my mind
As I fade in the endless dream
Of your warm finger drawing circles on my frozen heart.
you, my bohemian dream, my beautiful paradise
who entered like a bomb in my life
you install yourself in my heart, taking every bit of me
shaking my whole existence like a storm
you, with this light in your eyes, with this joy upon your face
with your burning fingers on my neck, setting me on fire
you, so strong and so delicate at the same time
holding my heart in your childlike world to grow it in your love garden
you, making us explode with your grain of craziness
you alone make time an eternity and life worth living
don’t go to the garden of flowers,
for you are my garden of flowers
do not look for eyes,
do not search,
for you have the eyes of truth
do not look for words for
how much I love you,
for you alone have my words of wisdom
don’t look at this world of ugly,
of ordinary and obscure
for you, my love,
you are my only beauty.
Sad souls and broken hearts, happy or lonely people, may you all feel the joy!
the shine of your eyes
gently covered in dawn light
you hide in my heart
when I think of you
my soul breaks
into thousand pieces
that fall at your feet…
don’t cry, you said,
but my heart turns into tears
hoping it can get carried by the storm
and fall on your cheeks to caress them…
my breath leaves my chest
looking for the wind
wanting to be pulled all around you
and hold you in my place…
when I think of you
I melt completely
in this blessed
suffering of ours…
quand je pense à toi
mon âme casse
en mille morceaux
qui tombent à tes pieds …
ne pleure pas, tu as dit,
mais mon cœur se transforme en larmes
en espérant qu’il peut se faire porté par la tempête
et tomber sur tes joues pour les caresser …
mon souffle laisse ma poitrine
recherchent pour le vent
en veulent être tiré tout autour de toi
pour te serrer à ma place …
quand je pense à toi
je fondre complètement
dans ce bienheureux
souffrance des nôtres …
art by Yannick Bouchard
“I wrote your name in the sky
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart
and forever it will stay.”
Photo Ferial Hart
another sun dies
like a drop of blood
over my heart.
still no sign of you
still I miss you in my humble dream
still I forgot the taste of your lips
still I can’t see your eyes
I am tired and a sea of sadness
lies in front of my eyes
whispering songs known
only to you.
I cover my heart
with dead leaves and
lay myself sleep.
“what’s wrong with my heart that is so sad!
what’s wrong with the tears dropping on my cheek!
i never been happy growing up,
and i’ve never felt the time passing so fast
i closed my eyes, i opened them, and it was too late
what’s wrong with my heart so sensitive!
what’s wrong with me, i became so easily hurt!
why does everyone hurts me and makes me hate my life!?”
Souad Massi – for those who don’t know her: she’s algerian, her music features the acoustic guitar, displays Western musical style influences. Massi sings in Algerian Arabic, French, and occasionally English and Kabyle (Berber language).